Had a strange experience today. At least, it was for me. I walked past a homeless bloke in the city, he was squatting down on the pavement, and looked pretty cold (not surprising given it was about 6 degrees outside!!!). I thought, 'he'll mumble something about wanting some money, and I probably should do something about it'. Then as I walked past, he mumbled something, which was too soft to hear. I walked on by without looking, as though I didn't notice he was addressing me.
I got about another 20 metres or so and then stopped. My first thought was, I could give him money, but he'll just go and buy alcohol or something. Then I thought, maybe he just is cold and could do with a coffee. Surely not. He'll want money for booze. My thoughts actually embarrassed me, but I share them here to get it off my chest.
Anyway, I went back and sat down next to him on the ground for a minute, spoke about the weather and how cold it was, and then asked if he'd like a coffee or something. His eyes lit up and this great big smile split across his face.
'Latte with 3 sugars if that's ok please'.
Funny, never thought a homeless bloke would want a latte...
Anyway, I walked off to get his coffee, and after a couple of minutes I came back. He saw me carrying them, hopped up, almost broke into a run to get it and had the most incredibly grateful look on his face I have just about EVER seen.
It was evident that by treating him like a real person, and by spending a whole $2.40 on a coffee I had made his whole day.
Then as I walked off 2 things happened. First, it occurred to me just how damn good I have it. Simple as that.
The second thing was a little more sobering and unnerving. What good was my coffee to him? It actually upset me. I mean, it made his day, but it didn't help his situation. I sit here writing this on my laptop in my warm house, and he is probably in an alley, freezing - barely surviving.
I may have noticed him, acknowledged him as a person, but I sure didn't do him much good... I'm still pretty darn confused about it - it wasn't what I expected to feel like.
What do you think? Do you think my coffee really served a purpose for him?
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7 comments:
Hey Nath, if you ever get the time then consider spending a few hours helping out in welfare down at Cafe Salvo. It's sobering to discover what's going on in the City of Whitehorse. I have no real insight to offer you though . . . umm, the coffee was better than nothing? The interaction with a human was better than nothing? The fact that you and I are wondering if there's more we can do is better than nothing?
Wendy (who wishes there she had more insight and more to offer)
It would be nice to be able to help everyone and 'fix' their lives. However, it may be the case that for some people, they value a coffee and a chat more than being warm at night. Not sure if you're aware of Maslow's heirarchy of needs. Anyway...physiological needs and safety are right up there but so is love/belonging. By having a chat and giving him a coffee, you met one of his basic needs. For that moment, he probably felt safe and well and had someone to talk to. I work with young people who have experienced homelessness or are on the brink of being homeless and I sometimes wish there was a way of fixing the problem. But I don't think there is. Every now and then, it seems, someone pulls through and get's things back on track. But invariably for many, the cycle continues. There is a shortage of public housing and other viable options and not enough funds to eradicate the problem of homelessness. So maybe for this man, who has possibly been homeless for a while, giving him a cup of coffee was the best thing that has happened for him in long time.
So anyway...in conclusion to my mess of jumbled thoughts and maybe a few cliches...yes, it would be good to be able to help this man by getting him off the streets, but don't underestimate the value of the 'little' things like a cup of coffee.
Good topic Nath. I think maybe I'm inspired to post about it on my blog.
Also...you can probably take that scoreboard down now..
Or... you could try and redeem yourself by making the 16-0 a little more respectable sometime soon???
Wendy, would like to, but it's unlikely. working full time doesn't leave much room to be at the Cafe mid-week.
Anyway, glad this post has sparked a few comments.
Hey I seriously only meant "if you ever get the time" . . . but it is interesting. I've lived in the City of Whitehorse for ages but there was a whole side of it I never saw till I spent some time down in the cafe and suddenly I started seeing this stuff out in the streets of Whitehorse where I guess I just used to ignore it.
Brad your stuff about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs was interesting but my understanding of the theory was that the higher needs can't be met until the lower needs are met adequately first. Yes? No?
Wendy (PS Thanks Brad for your comment on Nick's blog - he was really rapt)
Mate, don't under-estimate the quality of spending a little time (as you did). People care how much you care, and you cared enough to spend some key moments over a coffee... that's cool.
I understand your feelings and I've had the same thoughts, but we're not all called to serve the community full time. Next time, maybe make it an effort to talk to the person about their life and help with wisdom, insight and encouragement on how they can move forward and get involved with an organisation that IS Called to Serve them in that manner!
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